The third day of summer placements... I walk into the interview-room like a zombie - tired, shattered and bitter...
The lady looks up and smiles... "Hello Yogesh, take a seat"
"Let us play a game Yogesh.. you guess the question that I am going to ask next.. and if you guess it wrong, you lose points. Is that fine?"
"Yes" I replied, too tired to do otherwise....
"So, tell me Yogesh, what am I going to ask next?"
"Hmm.. you'll ask me.... to introduce myself....." I said, earnestly hoping that she doesn't ask that 'cuz I was too bored of repeating the same mugged-up stuff over and over again for three days.. carrying that plastic smile on my face, trying fruitlessly to hide the pain that possessed my heart...
"No.. what I will ask you is..." and she looked at me menacingly "What went wrong on DayZee?...."
I stared at her... what was she trying to do? Make a mockery of my pain...I tried to open my mouth... but my heart burned... as if some unknown force had pushed a burning rod into it..
and the pain bagan to flow out....slowly...
What went wrong?? Do I know the answer?? No, perhaps not....
Being a non-engineer had ensured that I have a flurry of shortlists... but didn't ensure anything more than that. For the first time, I realized that being academically bright is not everything in the world.. All these so called DayZee companies look for something much more than that..
So what was it that I lacked?
Well, among many other things..one in particular which acted as bane was, as one recruiter put it, "Yogesh is just too nice and too polite... he wouldn't fit into our culture"... !@#$%^&*
Yes, perhaps my personality acted as the biggest drawback for me.. I am not 'pseud'.... quite a popular term at IIMs.. which signifies style, panache and attitude..something which I clearly lack..
Frustrating and painful though it may be, but the summers process did teach me a lot about myself and about the world. Being shoved from one interview to the other, without making a hit anywhere... and seeing your friends celebrating all around you is shattering... specially when you always thought that you were good..
And you find similar people around you.. people who have always excelled at whatever they have done.. and now who are left at the mercy of fate.. waiting to get a nod that they are good too.. that they deserve at least the mediocre, if not the best. The pain is mutual and some of the best friendships germinate in those 5 days.. people who undertstand each other..and who have been with each other, not in happiness but in pain..
There are several realizations that come to you once the summers process is over..
One, you realise that companies which otherwise earn a lot of respect out of campus, are derided just because they come recruiting on DayOne or DayTwo..
Second, there is a lot of hype surrounding overseas placements which is quite unnerving as the expectations of all students are raised... but only the lucky few actually make hay..
Third, you get to know who all your true friends and who are not.. there were people who were assisting in the process and supporting those who needed comforting.... in times like this, even a caring word from a friend means a lot... but then there were those who didn't give a damn as to whether others were placed or not.. but were busy celebrating their success immediately after DayZee... nothing wrong with that.. just that you were expected to be somewhere with someone..
With the summers process, I have, quite possibly, seen the worst in my life.... and I feel that I came out much stronger than what I earlier was.. But, yes, it has also ensured that I get 'tagged' DayOne guy for the rest of my stay at IIMB....
There are times when you want nothing in this world... nothing, other than just cuddle in your mother's lap and cry.. cry like a kid... and that feeling that here's someone who understands you.. who doesn't care what you are.. who doesn't care what the world thinks... who simply loves you....selflessly... and your ears hear her caring words even though she is miles away... and you cuddle in your bed... and cry.. silently.. cuz you are a man.. a strong man... and you know that another day awaits you tomorrow....
