Monday, June 21, 2010


* During monsoons, Mumbai attains a new level of menace altogether. Ok, except Marine Drive - its beauty during the rains can completely mesmerize you. But, overall, its painful. Local trains get dirtier and more crowded. People poke each other in various body parts with umbrellas. In fact, if you are those types who relishes causing pain to others, you should carry these really huge umbrellas (which are also handy if you have to clear way for yourself in the train).

* Our colony's kids' favourite pastime during vacations has been splashing in the water that got collected in the complex's swimming pool (which otherwise remains dry due to water shortage in the area!). Suddenly felt so grown up, so old. Those were the days! No, not the ones  that I remember - but the ones when I was so very young, the days I don't have even a sliver of memory of.

* Saw the new Fair & Lovely for men ad on TV. And rolled with laughter for half a minute. I thought they had come up with something called 'Fair & Handsome' for men. Is that product out of the market? Or do men prefer to be 'lovely' over 'handsome'?

* Sonia (my wife) has been having these weird nightmares. She gets up in the morning all worried and tells me that she had had the worst nightmare of her life in which her kaamwali bai was threatening to quit the job. And then I make the biggest mistake of the week by saying that 'It's just the two of us, you can sure manage by yourself'.

* I have listed my blog on all these blog directories on the net (in the hope of getting the most coveted of all prizes for bloggers around the globe - traffic!). Read some of the blogs listed there - and I suddenly feel so humbled, so dwarfed... so miniscule *sigh* But I will continue blogging for sake of my own stupid vanity. And will write on more random topics in the future *evil grin*

* I am petty sure I need a new laptop as mine one simply refuses to work (this is a blatant hint if someone is looking at cheering me up by buying an expensive gift)

* This post is made up of random topics. Randomness is the flavor of the season.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Flute Player

This is a repost of sorts. Had written this way back - before college, seems like before time. Don't know what had inspired this - but when I think of it now, various inspirations come to mind - The Solitary Reaper, Braj Ki Sandhya (one of the bestest Hindi verses I have read), The Pied Piper...

Can't write such stuff anymore, back then I used to write for myself, only my own self. There was no need for acceptance. No greed for praise and accolades. The innocence is now lost - I am myself no more.

The Flute Player


The ‘fireball’ was sinking low;
And darkness swept o’er the vale;
And the villagers awaited eagerly –
Him – who makes their hearts sail.

Then was heard a distant tune –
Soft like love, Soothing like prayer –
Which grew louder every moment;
He came, at last, the Flute Player.

He walked down the hamlet lane
Playing the most lingering tunes;
A surreal aura evolved, and,
The listeners forgot their haunting pains.

A maiden slipped into the world of dreams,
Oblivious to her worldly part…
Enchanted and mesmerized she sang –
‘Oh, oh, the Flute Player of my heart!’

The young ones also took a ride
To joys of bliss as the music loomed.
He weaved magic with his flute –
And they merrily danced to his tunes.

But still with all his lust ’n charm,
The Flute Player remains all alone.
He swaps our sorrows for divine joy,
Yet, pines for something, to us, not known.

He plays his flute with burning zest,
Perhaps to make his pains flow
In tunes that fill thy heart with Joy –
Wherein may he find his secret cove.


Thursday, June 10, 2010

Mr. Beautiful

He welcomed me with a gleeful smile. Most salonwala bhaiyas I have known are never happy to see another customer. At least in Calcutta, they never are. Bored with work, they just want to sit idle, pick at their noses and listen to Himessssh songs on Radio Mirchi. But this chap was different.

Me: 'Baal kaat do yaar'
Dude: (running his fingers through my hair) 'Sir, shampoo kar doon? Aapke baal bahut dry hain'
Me: 'Nahi yaar. Main ghar jakar shampoo kar loonga. Tum baal kaat do - aur chote mat kaatna' I warned him.
Dude: 'Normal cut ya style mein katoon?'
Me: 'Normal. Baal kahan hain style karwane ke liye. Duh'
Dude: (again tousling up my hair) - 'aap spa kyun nahi karwate. Baal ekdum mast ho jayenge'
Me: 'Nahi yaar. Tum zaldi baal kaat do'
Disappointed, he got to his work. And I started dozing off. Then he jerked me awake.
Dude: 'Aapke baal girte hain?'
Me: (irritated) 'Bahut'
Dude: (perhaps sensing the bitterness in my voice) 'Sab dandruff ki wajah se hai. Aap spa karwa lo'
Me: 'Arey paise nahi hai bhai. Karwana hoga to bolunga main'
But he was just too enthu about his job. After the haircut, he offered to do a facial with some 'special gora banane wali' cream. I gave him a flat 'no'.
Dude: 'Sir aapke sare dark marks chale jayenge. Girlfriend khush ho jayegi.'

I was amused. But I didn't give in. Paid him Rs 60 for his shitty haircut (in Calcutta I would have paid only Rs 25!) and came out of the salon.

And I don't actually blame him for peddling these products to me. The modern day metrosexual man goes to the spa, gets facial done, gets pedicure, manicure and what not cured. He is increasingly trespassing on what used to be female-only territory in the bygone days. Companies are launching beauty products targeted at men - to make men fairer, softer and possibly, more girly. Kudos to Shahrukh Khan for starting this madness - he told the whole world that his beauty secret was actually a Lux soap.

But some of this is also getting out of control. If my 'male' superboss can announce that he is addicted to pedicure & manicure and start taking tips on the same from a 'female' colleague of mine, I know that the world is spiralling out of its orbit.

It's not that I don't take care of myself at all. I am very concerned about my falling hair and I get repeated nightmares that I have gone bald. And just like I would do if you bring a cockroach all of a sudden in front of me, I flinch on seeing an ujda chaman. So I have started getting head massage where I make the salonwala bhaiya apply smelly nariyal oil on my hair whilst he keeps pleading that I opt for its super-costlier version hair-spa instead.

Maybe this would stop soon. Or, maybe the day is not too far away, when men would be 'beautiful' too.
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