Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Return of Randomness

* I don't think I told you guys about my amazing new laptop. Yes, the old laptop simply crashed. The keypad had stopped working a long time back - now the hard disk too called it quits. The new lappy has a cam as well - I video-chatted for the first time in my life! Yes, being technologically-backward ensures that you get these weird kicks out of things others would call pretty ordinary.

* Work at office is getting more excrutiating by the hour. Yes, yes, we all hate our work but can one really hate his work as much as I do? To add to my woes, many among my office junta have started reading my blog - so I can't even write nasty stuff about work anymore.

* Once in a while, something will happen that will make you regret missing out on some very important event or action in life. Watching Dabangg was one such moment. It made me regret how I never could learn to bajao a shrill ceeti in childhood. Dabangg had many such scenes where normal mortals would errupt in an euphoria of ceetis and cat-calls. But I forget that multiplex-going-sophisticated-Mumbaikars aren't so mortal as Malancha-cinema-going-Calcutta-based-kanjoos-Marus. Btw, read Greatbong's awesome review here.

* Throwing caution to the air, I must tell you all about how my colleague noticed that someone from senior management at work doesn't fit into his chair anymore. She also demonstrated how parts of his body hang precariously over the sides of the chair - and how the chair makes squeaking noices every time he sits on it as if crying for mercy. We suspect that the chair is secretly replaced every night as it is not possible for any chair to sustain all the weight for two days in a row.

* TV serials are my new-found-love. This certainly deserves a blog on its own. Will come up with something soon.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Love, Pain and Little Malice

Another shortie - had written this before college. I like reading it even now, though must confess there is hardly anything original or literary about this story. This was one of my first attempts at writing 'episodes', as I call them.


Raina read the note again. On it was scribbled ‘I shall be back early’. “Idiot”, she muttered under her breath. She hated it when Priya went out without her. She hated it all the more when Priya went out with Raj.

Early that day Priya had annoyed Raina for no reason at all.

“You are not leaving me alone again!!! You know how I hate….” Raina had complained vehemently...
“Trust Raina to spoil her chum’s date. Don’t be a sissy, Ray. And I promise I’ll be back early. Now tell me how’z this?” she held her new silk top by herself
“Splendid (Absolutely ludicrous!!)”
“Should I couple it with the lace skirt?”
“Yeah, that’d be the right thing to do (Bet you couldn’t think of anything gaudier).”

Priya donned the dress quickly and stood in the posture of a mannequin displaying an outfit.
“How do I look???”
“Like a blue-eyed angel (with uncommonly long legs!!!)”


I am Raina. Priya calls me Ray. She is my best friend. Yes, she is. It's strange how we have absolutely nothing in common and yet we are best-friends. What if she annoys me a lot? What if she does everything that I hate? She is precious to me. She’s the only friend I have.

She says I’m sentimental. She thinks so because I cry at others’ pains, laugh when others do. But then why would I not feel my own pain, not realize my own happiness? Priya has to remind me, “Cheer up, it’s your birthday”.

She loves frolicking around with her silly friends and fussing over unimportant matters like what to wear, how to wear, what not to wear and how not to wear. She’s so full of puerile thoughts and confined energies, so it becomes more than obvious that she would disapprove of the coy and quiet nature of mine.

Can one envy her best friend? I do. I envy Priya on everything she has. She always scores above me. She gets everything she wants. And she’s so feminine in her looks. I wish I had blue eyes like her. She has all the qualities of a poet’s muse and as Raj always says, has the most beautiful legs in the world.

And talking of me, I hate my frizzy hair, my broken chin and convince myself as much I may against it I cannot possibly fail to notice the ugly marks on my face. Yes I am that way- ugly and distasteful. And of course Priya takes all the pain to remind me every now and then that I am no good. She loves pulling my not-so-beautiful-legs.

I had a perfect antipathy for boys. They are rowdy, self-willed and unruly. But that was until I met Raj. He’s the only guy I’ve met who sends my heart ringing. He too reciprocated my feelings, I thought he did. And I poured my passion out in a letter. But I never gave it to him. For I knew Priya loves him too.

So here too Priya scored. I love her, no mistaking that. But I also hate her, for being my best-friend.


If you ever call a girl ‘sexy’ and she would look back at you thoroughly offended, you know she’s Raina. She typically hates what other girls love to do. What she loves is being snuggled up in the cozy comforts of her bed with a none-so-interesting book and criticizing everything that I do. I’m Priya by the way.
 She gets annoyed at the slightest and I love annoying her. I hide the novel she’s been so deeply immersed in only to return it back after she has brought the whole house to shambles looking for it. She hates loud music and I take particular care to put on a jazz record every time I find her complacent. More often than not I curse her and blame her for highly fictitious crimes and pillage her cupboard throwing all her precious books out of the window. And once I took her for an adult movie saying it was a cartoon film with the temptation of seeing her go to pieces in the hall but to no avail; she sat through the entire film with her eyes shut tightly (I couldn’t even coax her to open her eyes during the Interval!!!).

It’s not that she is completely innocent. She bores me to death by narrating the story of the latest novel she’s read. More so because her novels are hardly interesting and she tells a story rather badly. But she relishes the experience of reciting her stories to me as (she says) I am a very good listener. I let out occasional oohs, aahs & omigoshes and other sorts of murmurs which seem to have a perfect timing and they encourage her all the more. I must learn to keep shut.

The other day I was on one of my small ransacks of her cupboard when I laid my hands upon her ‘Diary’. Ray is among those fools who take all the pain to record their unimportant experiences in a diary. I was delighted!!!! I thought I would definitely find something in the diary to taunt Ray upon, some guilty secret of hers. I still remember how I flinched upon sighting a letter folded neatly between two pages with ‘Raj’ written somewhere in it. I was naturally curious to read through it. And it was pretty well that I did for as things turned out, it did matter much!!!!

Raj is the guy I’m madly in love with. You are the luckiest person on earth if you have a guy like Raj who loves you, adores you, cares for you……… but I would swap him for a friend like Ray ANYDAY :)


Raina simply stared lost for words.

Then all of a sudden Priya sprung to her feet and declared, trying to sound cheerful, “You know something? Daniel has asked me for dinner tonight. Yes, that cute-looking albino guy”, she continued without looking at Raina, “Now no need to make faces, I’ll return early, I promise. Tell me what to wear? How is the Blue-Dress?” she suddenly turned, smiling.
“Splendid!!” was all that Raina said in spite of herself… She would go away to Brazil where her dad had ready a list of suitable grooms, she thought.
Priya slipped into the dress and chortled, “How do I look?”
“Like a blue-eyed angel”, replied Raina, “with the most beautiful legs” she added as an afterthought.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Lo Aaj Main Kahta Hoon

Ok, so, I love bollywood! And continuing in the same line of thought as this post of mine, I will list down the 5 most amazingly fantastic memories I have of old-school Bollywood:

1. Tumne jo li angdayi hai - Mr. India was a movie that the kids thoroughly enjoyed. Sci-fi was an unexploited genre in Hindi cinema. The unadulterated comedy struck a chord with each person in the audience. However, one song, one wet and stormy night, a gyrating Sridevi, Kaate Nahi Kat te - and many among the kids spent several sleepless nights!

Years later, Raveena tried to create the same magic, but not quite.

2. Pyaar dosti hai - The only KJo movie that I don't mind watching again and again. With Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, the Archies came to India. Skirts got shorter, college-life was redefined, Kajol's one eyebrow became a pair of eyebrows, precocious kids came to dominate Hindi cinema, and I finally realized that I have to have to hate Shahrukh Khan.

(C'mon guys, this one is really after a long time - and not even nasty!)

3. Mausi chakki peesing - Sholay was not a movie. It was a piece of art. Every frame was perfect, every character chiseled out of storyteller's finest imagination, every dialogue legendary. The only possible flaw in the whole movie was that it could inspire someone to remake the movie years later, to a disastrous effect.

4. We love Maneka Gandhi - I am no pet-lover. But I used to love when movies had these wonderful multi-purpose pets. Pigeons as carriers of love-messages, Dogs as faithful friends, Monkeys as entertainers, Deepak Tijori and (recently) Udai Chopra as sidekicks.

5. Kya bolta re tu? - As anyone who has seen my drunken dancing would know, I dig chaalu Bollywood music. By 'chaalu' I mean songs that run thus -
Humein Tomtom se ja rahe the, tumhein cycle se aana tha
Aati kya Khandala?
Unchi hai building, lift teri band hai
Meri Pant bhi sexy
Hai Huku Hai Huku
A aa ee, o oo oo, mera dil na todo

Are you surprised to see that most of these songs had Karishma Kapoor? :) Miss that era!

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Happy Birthday to me (Ah, well, belated) :)

First birthday after marriage, first surprise 12'o clock party ever (Sonia was the host as well as the only guest), mom-made laddoos, a decent day at work (suprisingly!), this b'day wasn't so bad!
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