Friday, June 22, 2012

Growing vegetables is no fun!

Being the workaholic (the milder breed) that I am, I never enjoyed taking days off from work. I mean unless it is something as life changing as getting married or when I am really really sick, I have actually never taken off at all. I did take some leave when I had to go holidaying down south, but that was like once in my working career of four years!

And imagine me being put on two months of paid leave! Those of you yelling 'Yay, that's awesome', drop dead already. I just don't know what to do with all this time. Agree that there have been times when I had wished for some more leisure & pleasure in my life, but this is total overdose boss.

Yeah, planning that short trip to the hills in July. And yeah, did pay some more attention to my blog of late. There have been suggestions galore (and my reactions to them pretty varied)
- Do what you enjoy the most (*evil grin and then a mild sigh*)
- Koi short term course kar le (sari zindagi padhta hi rahoon kya be!)
- Use this time well (and how? tell me *with a gun on your head*)
- Beta come to meet us - your relatives in other end of the world (If I really wanted to do that, don't you think I would done it already?)
- Help your dad in his business (I will be more of a nuisance than help - he would throw me out of not only his shop, but also the house)

All that I have been actually doing is lazying around the house, watching saas-bahu serials (blog to come soon), sulking in general, and getting bored. I have already scanned the Facebook profiles of all my friends for gossip, called up random friends (even the ones I don't like) and chatted with them for hours, fought with wifey on silly things which I otherwise wouldn't have cared about, put on a few kilos of weight around my tummy (isshhh), pestered friends who are in Calcutta to meet me (so much so - they have started declining my invitations!), ate too much and then took medicines for stomach infection.

Life was never less exciting. You wouldn't agree with me. But then, you wouldn't know.

PS: Those of you, who are not aware, and thus missing the context - I am changing jobs and have been put on 'gardening' leave for 2 months by my old organization. Too much fun, no?

Tuesday, June 19, 2012


Looking back isn't easy these days,
For the toys are of no more interest,
And yet, I miss the fun that I had,
while playing with them.

Not easy to look at old photographs,
For the friends in them are no more around,
And yet, I miss the bizarre connect,
that I had with them.

The comic books give no more joy,
And yet, I hoard them like a treasure,
For I miss the playful excitement,
of reading them.

Nothing has changed, and yet everything has.
For what is lost cannot be found,
midst old memories and tokens.
Search for innocence, is an unending quest.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Till it goes all numb

It creeps up forlorn lanes,
like shadows gaining shape,
after sunset.

It trickles down mossy walls,
like droplets of water,
after a quick drizzle.

It sweeps the brazen fields,
like wind with its own mind,
after rushing down the hills.

It laps up the shores,
like waves, tall and high,
after flowing for miles.

It slowly pervades the heart,
like needles piercing the skin,
till it goes all numb.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Popcorn tub, large coke and ample tears

Tears ran down Rani Mukherjee's cheeks as she spoke to her father on the phone. The father is evil and he wants her to earn money, at any cost.

P reached out for R's arm and held her tight. It was then I realized, that sitting in between two girls in a movie like 'Laaga Chunari Mein Daag' was a bad bad idea.

So, yeah, P was crying. And R consoled her with these endearing words, 'Men are like this only re, we are destined to suffer!' The fact that both of them will soon graduate from IIMB and actually bring many a men to tears in the corporate world clearly didn't matter. Also, they totally forgot that I, another 'evil' man sitting in the middle seat, could hear them. I was only supposed to look repentant on getting dirty glances from them every time a man made Rani Mukherjee suffer on the big screen in front of us.

End of part one.

The mother-in-law was at her best, hurling choicest abuses at the meek bahu. The entire confusion was actually a big misunderstanding - however, it was clear that, for now, the bahu has to suffer.

Thus ended a maha-episode of one of the most popular serials on TV, leaving the women in the house close to tears. The daughters-in-law (DIL) at home immediately burst into a tirade against the evil mother-in-law (MIL) on screen, also pointing out how in reality too the MILs don't understand the DILs at all. The MIL of the family, on the other hand, sided with the on-screen MIL and also took this opportunity to lambast the DILs in general. It does matter, of course, that the MIL and DILs at home are actually at peace, with no warring tendencies at all.

End of part two.

So, yeah, we, Indians, love drama. And we take this seriously enough. Be it Bollywood, Ekta Kapoor serials, IPL, Satyamev Jayate or anything else that can tug at our tear-ducts - we lurrrvve the drama.

The only problem I have with this whole nonsense is how people forget that what they are watching is scripted, fabricated, meant to entertain and not to be emulated or learnt lessons from. For example, all the male characters in these serials are pansies, with no dialogues, who cry like a girl whenever their girlfriends / wives are angry / upset, do not seem to have to work for a living and can be seen at home all the time showering praises on the women - such cutie pies they are! Now if all women start believing that this is how men should be, tab to ho gaya na!

Look at people from South India for example. Arrey, take these movies and these stars a little less seriously na?

End of random rant.

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Khooni Kabristan ki Jung - Sequel

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any living soul could be because the author has a twisted mind. However, those should not be taken seriously at all *wink*

YogiMan was happy. He was with his family, diligently working on assignments given to him at work, and at peace with himself. Little did he know!

He made only one mistake. He aspired to grow from the post of an apprentice to that of the leader of another guild. And that didn't go down well with the leaders of his current guild.

There were rumours that they had learnt their stuff from the Black Widow and Loki. They were scary, control-freaks and gossip-hungry.

And they wanted to hit YogiMan where it would hurt the most - his pride! An assembly of the guild was called. And the apothecary blamed YogiMan for imaginary delays and 'gaps'. YogiMan was told that he wasn't an 'able' apprentice anymore - in fact, never had been. He was made to share his trade secrets with another apprentice. And they wanted to banish him from the guild. But, hang on, didn't YogiMan want to leave the guild anyway, and join another guild? There was a smile on YogiMan's face. And the one on his detractors' face vanished. At times, even the thought of the Sword of Gryffindor works!

Middle Finger. And graceful exit.

PS: The original Khooni Kabristan ki Jung can be found here.

Friday, June 01, 2012

In which Kaalia kills Gabbar

Because Basanti had two left feet; 
Because Jai just wanted to get lucky with Radha; 
Because Mausi was jealous of the gypsy dancer; 
Because Sambha moonlighted as a male stripper; 
Because Kaalia wanted glory, but was lazy; 
Because Ahmed was actually killed by Imam in a property dispute; 
Because Veeru was a paedophile; 
Because Thakur's hands were cut-off in Kuwait for shoplifting; 
Because Jailor & Hariram shot porn films with the inmates; 

Because life is not a movie script. And God's factory churns out defective pieces with 95% accuracy. 

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