Sunday, June 30, 2013

5 rupaiye ka common sense dijiye please

Life would have been so much simple if common sense was available in kirana stores.. because we all seem to need it. And small doses would do, better than having none at all, right?

Don't know about you guys, but it would have been  a lot more benign for me at least.. for my senses can no longer jhelofy the stupidity of people around me, which has attained atrocious levels of late.

Some typical instances of people not realizing that they lack basic common sense:

- You are talking on mobile, to one of your clients. Another client of yours wants to talk to you - he calls you on your mobile, finds the line 'busy', so he calls you again, finding it, to his surprise 'busy', and so he calls you some 10 times, shocked at how your line can remain 'busy' for full 3 minutes. I mean, obviously, there aren't any other people in the whole world who you speak to other than him. So, he decides to call on your land-line but no one picks up (maybe, because you are on the other line?) and then he calls your colleague who tells him that you are speaking to someone on phone and will call him back. This, when you have a habit of promptly returning each and every call that you missed. Stupid?
.... and I, seem to have too many such clients!

- You find that one of your friends seems to have posted a video of a girl in a short red skirt with an axe on Facebook. The post is tantalizingly titled 'Don't you want to find out what happens to this stupid girl?' and your friend seems to have tagged some 149 people in the post. Now, your friend never does such a thing... posting a random video and then tagging random people in it. Maybe, it's a spam / bug / worm? But then, how can you NOT find out what happens to that girl in a short skirt? The voyeur-with-a-dirty-mind in you gets the better of the normal-man-in-possession-of-common-sense and you click on the video.
... only fact that will save you from the ignominy of telling the whole world you are a creep is that all your friends will also fall for this trick. And there seem to be too many such worms on Facebook and too many dumb people in my friends' list.

- You are a Social Networking Activist, which means that you want to spread awareness about all that is wrong in this world from the comforts of your cozy bed, by posting your opinions on Facebook / Twitter / Orkut and other such sites. So you read somewhere on the net a headline that goes .."Madras High court ruling that sex is equal to marriage... " You jump in joy. What a kill!... and you update your status - How many of you got married today? ... oh my God, Madras court has gone senile.... This happens only in India!... and your other Social Networking Activist friends join in with appropriate OMGs and Let's sign online petition opposing this and shit. Of course, not one of you thinks it would be relevant to read the context of the decision at all (huh, like I care?).
... but don't worry, no one will find out that you are dumb, because no one will bother to know the context anyway. Your activism shall thrive and people would feel happy that they have done their good deed for the day by 'liking' your status update.


Saturday, June 22, 2013

Except you, except me

It isn't funny,
That I can hear your footsteps,
in the pitter-patter of rain.

It isn't comforting,
To find you staring back at me,
when I look into the mirror.

It isn't the same,
Them playing songs that you love,
when I switch the radio on.

It isn't fair
To know that you are around,
but not with me.

It isn't how it should be,
Because nothing seems to have changed,
Except you, except me.

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