Kahan se kharidi, aisi Bokwaas script? Wait, who cares for a script, let's make cars fly!

Bringing Lungis back in fashion
- Chinnai Express collection

I was never fond of travelling by train. Even as a kid, while my cousins would fight for the window seat, I would be only too happy to lodge myself on the upper berth with a comic book in my hand. 

And then there are always painful memories of that exceptionally long train journey, of being stuck in an 'express' train that trudges along at snail speed, delayed by several hours, of bowels giving you trouble (it always happens to me in a train!), of the bawling of hawkers, of over-crowded compartments because of ticket-less passengers requesting you to 'adjust'. Watching Chennai Express was like reliving those memories. Plus SRK and his hamming thrown in. Need I say more?

The movie is all about Rahul, a 40-year old smart-ass, who tries in vain to make you laugh at his buffoonery, all done in the name (and much to the shame) of common man. In most of the movie, he just whines and cribs like an extremely nagging girlfriend, and actually does a poor job of even that with his comic timing way off the mark. He also wins the award for the shadiest hero ever, who, upon being beaten by the villain, meekly leads him to their secret hideout to capture the heroine as well. Surprisingly, the only funny moments in the movie come from Deepika, who methinks has done a somewhat better job here than most other movies where she chooses to just expose her legs instead. 

So this kid in the family sitting next to us at the theater complains to his dad during interval, 'Papa, I am bored.'

Papa suggests, 'Play game on the phone, beta'

'Kuch comedy hi nahi hai'

'Arre, second half mein aayega shayad'

And then when the movie ended, he asks, 'Papa, is movie ka naam Chennai Express kyun hai?' I did not wait for his father's reply.

Sadly, the future of Bollywood doesn't look bright either. With Shahid Kapoor impersonating a dog, and Ranbir Kapoor advocating 'padding' for men, the movie buff in me can only weep. Tragic, no?