~Snapshots 2~

A few more glimpses of life@IIMB

2nd term was relatively a chiller affair... .. 'Coorg Trip' with the Section D-ites...












That's Pabbo Studdari... and me







Catching an occasional nap in class - trying to lure the ever-elusive sleep..

Birthday Celebrations at L^2...














Diwali celebrations... on campus!











Suit boot and photography!

That's my room, by the way

… and thus ended the worst year of my life

The year 2006 ended with the usual revelry that one would expect on a new year’s eve… and as usual, I was locked up in my room, biding time, trying to ignore the loud music blaring outside and reflecting on the year gone by.

Now, am not really the philosophical type. So, while I always stay away from parties (even on new year’s eve), I don’t usually take stock of all the happenings in my life at year-end.

But this year was different. It was.

It gave me some moments that I will cherish all my life… it gave me some that I just want to forget… forget that they ever happened… believe that something like that would never happen.

Some loss may be transient, something which loses its importance over time and thus, the loss by itself doesn’t hurt you much. What hurts is the ignominy associated with it… But when you lose something which cannot be replaced, something which was very important to you, something which you had always taken for granted, something which had become a part of the way you lived… it hurts and it hurts more than you can take…

The good thing about life is that it keeps moving forward. So you move ahead with time and forget all that’s given you joy in the past, all that you’ve hated… all that which made you, all that which broke you… and when you actually sit down someday to relive it all, you realize how much you have learnt, how much you have grown, what you have gained and what you have lost. It is in such moments of introspection that you have an unbiased view of the world around you, the world inside you and you simultaneously feel proud of yourself for everything you have done that is good and hate yourself for everything that is bad…

Anyways… 2006.. good riddance!

Tagged!!!!!

The third day of summer placements... I walk into the interview-room like a zombie - tired, shattered and bitter...

The lady looks up and smiles... "Hello Yogesh, take a seat"

"Let us play a game Yogesh.. you guess the question that I am going to ask next.. and if you guess it wrong, you lose points. Is that fine?"

"Yes" I replied, too tired to do otherwise....

"So, tell me Yogesh, what am I going to ask next?"

"Hmm.. you'll ask me.... to introduce myself....." I said, earnestly hoping that she doesn't ask that 'cuz I was too bored of repeating the same mugged-up stuff over and over again for three days.. carrying that plastic smile on my face, trying fruitlessly to hide the pain that possessed my heart...

"No.. what I will ask you is..." and she looked at me menacingly "What went wrong on DayZee?...."

I stared at her... what was she trying to do? Make a mockery of my pain...I tried to open my mouth... but my heart burned... as if some unknown force had pushed a burning rod into it..
and the pain bagan to flow out....slowly...

What went wrong?? Do I know the answer?? No, perhaps not....

Being a non-engineer had ensured that I have a flurry of shortlists... but didn't ensure anything more than that. For the first time, I realized that being academically bright is not everything in the world.. All these so called DayZee companies look for something much more than that..
So what was it that I lacked?

Well, among many other things..one in particular which acted as bane was, as one recruiter put it, "Yogesh is just too nice and too polite... he wouldn't fit into our culture"... !@#$%^&*

Yes, perhaps my personality acted as the biggest drawback for me.. I am not 'pseud'.... quite a popular term at IIMs.. which signifies style, panache and attitude..something which I clearly lack..

Frustrating and painful though it may be, but the summers process did teach me a lot about myself and about the world. Being shoved from one interview to the other, without making a hit anywhere... and seeing your friends celebrating all around you is shattering... specially when you always thought that you were good..

And you find similar people around you.. people who have always excelled at whatever they have done.. and now who are left at the mercy of fate.. waiting to get a nod that they are good too.. that they deserve at least the mediocre, if not the best. The pain is mutual and some of the best friendships germinate in those 5 days.. people who undertstand each other..and who have been with each other, not in happiness but in pain..

There are several realizations that come to you once the summers process is over..

One, you realise that companies which otherwise earn a lot of respect out of campus, are derided just because they come recruiting on DayOne or DayTwo..

Second, there is a lot of hype surrounding overseas placements which is quite unnerving as the expectations of all students are raised... but only the lucky few actually make hay..

Third, you get to know who all your true friends and who are not.. there were people who were assisting in the process and supporting those who needed comforting.... in times like this, even a caring word from a friend means a lot... but then there were those who didn't give a damn as to whether others were placed or not.. but were busy celebrating their success immediately after DayZee... nothing wrong with that.. just that you were expected to be somewhere with someone..

With the summers process, I have, quite possibly, seen the worst in my life.... and I feel that I came out much stronger than what I earlier was.. But, yes, it has also ensured that I get 'tagged' DayOne guy for the rest of my stay at IIMB....


There are times when you want nothing in this world... nothing, other than just cuddle in your mother's lap and cry.. cry like a kid... and that feeling that here's someone who understands you.. who doesn't care what you are.. who doesn't care what the world thinks... who simply loves you....selflessly... and your ears hear her caring words even though she is miles away... and you cuddle in your bed... and cry.. silently.. cuz you are a man.. a strong man... and you know that another day awaits you tomorrow....

~~Snapshots~~

Okie... been out of action for quite some time....
here're the snapshots of what I've been upto all these days:

Classes, classes and more classes,

Assignments, quizzes and submissions...







Those cherished moments when we go out of campus... be it only for a bite..









Anti-reservation protests... a peaceful demonstration of our angst against the governement's divisive policies










The Rakesh Jhunjhunwala talk... among a series of others...












The Matki-Phod... Esctasy... and other cultural activities... :))

Phew!!! Boy, you have been busy...

Life@IIMB Part-III

......Till I saw a man with no feet!!!!


I apologise for posting such maudlin thoughts in my last post!!! As I now realise, life couldn't have been more generous to me. Did I deserve all that was served to me on a platter..? I'm able and I'm competent..... yet I choose to crib and not fight it out....

If there is something that one never stops doing, in this wonderful siesta called 'life,' it's 'learning'. We learn as we trudge along and in course, perhaps, evolve as better human beings... And, at times, something extra-ordinary happens which goes on to shake the very beliefs and the values we stand for.

And learn I did when I volunteered for Vikasana's new endeavour this Sunday. A group of spastic children, full of a zeal for life, but daunted by the tyranny of their fate, arrived for a short visit to our campus. Each of them had ambitions... and they were fighting tooth and nail to reach the same... one of them, a fresh commerce graduate just like me, wanted to get into an IIM.... another, a small kid, wanted to be a scientist...
and many of them did succeed.... one of them was doing 3D-animation, which my engineer friend informs me that even fully able qualified engineers find difficult... another was an artist and his sketches could have put a professional artist to shame...

We had a wonderful time together... we wanted them to have a good time.... but it ended the other way round. We enjoyed ourselves more than we could have imagined...

When they were about to leave.. one of them said in his farewell speech..."After coming here, we realized, may what people sayoutsise the gates of IIMs, you guys also have a heart..."

So, what do I do now.... be thankful to God to have put me in such a privileged position. But does that mean that it is wrong to have ambitions and then feel bad when you fail in your efforts.. No, we can't stop trying to better ourselves for then we would stagnate...
But it is wrong to blame life and fate when they have been so kind to you... and you could not make the best out of the privileges bestowed on you...

Life@IIMB Part-II

Midterm-Phobia

In this world, there are three types of people (No, this is not that cliched bollywood-movie dialogue!!!). First, who slog day in and day out... and in the end, come out with flying colours; Second, who don't give a damn about grades, who make the best out of their time(i.e. enjoying life to the fullest) and don't even wince upon getting pathetic marks; Third, who know how to beat the system, who make the best out of their lives too... but who, miraculously, also get top grades.

Surprisingly enough, I don't fall in any of the above categories. I form part of that rare breed who slog day in and day out... but still end up getting pathetic grades.
This truth glared at me immediately after I had landed at this place. Having performed miserably in the first few quizzes... I realized that I, perhaps, will have to put serious fight to survive here among this bunch of engineers.

Hard work doesn't scare me, but fear of failure does....

It's something wonderful if you have never failed in your life, if you have always managed to stay ahead of the rest, if you have always been this demi-god figure among your peers.... but, unbroken success comes with an accompanying curse... it makes to used to being successful, used to being popular, used to being looked up to... and that is where the fun starts.

Never before had it happened that Yogesh Patwari was scared of sitting in an exam. But the very thought of taking the mid-term Quants paper was giving me goose-bumps. Somehow, since my childhood days, I always failed to appreciate the beauty of this animal called 'Mathematics'. It was always 'Me Vs Math'.... and just imagine my plight when I realized that in the next two years, I will have to grapple with Quants in virtually every course that I take.

Hey.... I am not the only one cribbing after getting in..

There's this girl on campus who topped her university and was awarded a gold-medal for her spectacular performance.... last heard, she was barely scoring above-average in the tests... there's this guy who, after quitting a high-paying job, realized that he's simply not good enough to survive at IIMB.....

IIMB may or may not bring the best out of you. But it is adept at doing something for sure. And that is dragging you out of your ivory-tower and making you face the real-world, the real-competition... real struggle for survival.
Not fair... but then, whoever said life was ever fair?

Life@IIMB Part-I

There are times when we spend hours appreciating the beauty of a single moment and there are times when we experience the most beautiful moments of our life but don’t even have a second to stand by and reflect. My first few days at IIMB have been somewhat along the latter line. It has been a rollercoaster, an experience which would form an indelible part of my memory.

Before coming here I had apprehensions about this place and whether I would be able to cope with the pressure or not. As regards the latter, I am still not very sure. But, yes, being one of the very few commerce graduates among a herd of engineers is a special feeling, no doubt. I had heard stories of engineers being devilish creatures, hardened by merciless ragging in engineering colleges. I had apprehensions and fears which I dared not express. Things couldn’t have been more different than what I had imagined.

Come to this place and a single most important truth would strike you. You are no longer important. While back home, you were considered to be this super-stud who cracks exams with finesse, come to IIMB, and you would be dwarfed by the rocking profiles which almost all the facchas possess. (At one point in time, I did contemplate what the IIMB authorities could have possibly seen in me… I mean, compared to others’ profiles…)

First, about the campus…. simply, awesome!! The entire structure is made up of grey stones which gives it the look of an old palace. Cosseted from the urban jungle by lush greenery on all sides, IIMB is the ‘perfect seat’ for learning. And the weather… it pampers you till you are spoilt like a brat.

The first week was the ‘orientation program’. It was a flurry of activities. IIMB has devised this unique way of “breaking the ice” between the PGP1s. Throughout the week, we, as a group, participated in a variety of activities, none of which had anything to do even remotely with studies, but at the end of which we came to know almost every other member of the batch.

We were divided into small groups of 6-7 and made to discuss among ourselves inane topics. We changed our groups after every discussion. While it did seem idiotic at first, by the end of the session, we had known all the members of our batch. Then, there was this unique session where every member had to introduce his neighbor to the entire class.

We were also taken for an outbound trip to “breakthrough” – a local camp-site. There we spent the entire day playing a variety of games (which all somehow ended in a moral each). But, most importantly, we had a lot of fun together. We did rope-walking, log-pulling and other stuff which would look amusing on paper, but we had helluva fun doing these.

We also had “Abacus” – the Yoga session where we were encouraged to be creative and we played a variety of games which ranged from a variation of dumb-charade, spoof on News-channels, aerobics, music etc.

While all this may sound to be very relaxing, trust me, the first week was something I would never forget. We were given a host of assignments by seniors from resume submission to getting 25 student-interaction forms filled up, all to be accomplished within ridiculous deadlines. But it all ended in the traditional IIMB way where all of us (both seniors and juniors) had a lot of fun.

How could I have not mentioned the L^2 parties till now! These form the lifeline of stay@IIMB. Though I am not a party animal and can’t dance to save my ass, there is no harm in seeing beautiful girls hitting the dance-floor. We have these parties every fortnight which continue well into the morning.

Classes have started and the actual IIMB experience is taking a toll on my sleep-hours rather badly. Will elaborate on that sometime later… But, for now, I am giving you a glimpse of the Hostel-Life@IIMB....

How birthdays are celebrated at IIMB:

Party begins at midnight. You are brought to the famous L^2 and wished "Happy Birthday". Just when you start feeling elated and marvel at the huge gathering of students who seem to care for you and have assembled in the chilly night to wish you, the actual fun starts.

You are 'Hooshed' in the traditional IIMB way and also punched and kicked. Then you have to name your favorite PGP1 girl. That girl would come forward and smear cake on your face. And then, it becomes a free-for-all. Every one throws cake at each other.

No, that is not all. The birthday boy is made to do 'pole-dance' a la Malaika Arora. He is then made to sit in the mud and given a bath, first with water and then with sauce. When you are completely covered in mud, you are required to do a "nagin" dance.

And, yes, you get kicked and punched all the while. Doesn't that make you curse why were you born in the first place?
Darn, I have already entered my birthday on SPIDI and there is no way of taking it down…. Waiting for my turn at the altar…

A Home away from HOME!!!

Some pics of my new home... IIMB
Wouldn't you fall in love with this place?

THE GREAT INDIAN PUPPET SHOW

In the corridors of power in Delhi these days, the ministers have found a novel way of amusing themselves. That is pulling the strings of a very old and ragged puppet and seeing it dance to their tunes.

First, it was the HRD minister. He needed to demonstrate his skills at puppetry. So he went ahead with his plans to implement Quotas for backward classes in the realms of higher education. The puppet did a lovely dance.

Next in line is Meira Kumar. She feels that the Quotas for Scheduled castes needs to be increased too. (This lady had already announced earlier the imminent implementation of Quotas in private sector jobs). The puppet is expected to perform splendidly this time again.

However, what remains to be seen is how will the Govt. repeal the SC ruling that reservations cannot exceed 50% limit. With the current 49.5% plus the proposed 1.23% (plus the Minority Quota which the UPA Govt would eventually bring) the reserved seats would be much more than 50%.

Saw the interview of Chidambaram on CNN-IBN.. and saw how he managed to avoid all the questions in his patent diplomatic style. Damn, what the Supreme Courts's ban on protests has done is strengthen the Govt's position all the more. I wouldn't be surprised if the SC fails to curb the Govt in its dirty measures. Mind you, it has already given the permission to go ahead with the Quotas while the matter is still subjudice.

The Y4E people had already foreseen this. That explains why they are forming a co-operative society under the name "Youth4Equality". So we will be seeing more active protests soon. The greatest achievement of the UPA Govt in two years of its rule has been that majority of the youth of India have lost their faith in democracy. And it is only a matter of time before what little faith we have in the judiciary is lost too. And yes, we all have lost our taste for puppet-shows as well.

LINKS TO INTERESTING ARTICLES ON THE NET:

1. RAJIV GANDHI AGAINST RESERVATIONS

2. NEHRU AGAINST RESERVATIONS

3. RESERVATIONS - ONE-WAY ROUTE TO STAGNATION

**Finally, the end... and the beginning thereafter**

So, exams finally over. A big relief which is simultaneously filling me with a sense of void. Not much to do till IIMB starts.
The realisation, that my indolent academic life is all but over and what is awaiting me is a life that races past at maddening pace,is exciting, unnerving and alluring at the same time.

Though I never quite grew fond of my college, it felt strange to think that this is the last that I'll see of Xavier's. I have spent some of the best days of my life here, have bitter-sweet memories and most important of all===> made so many great friends.
I remember each of us whispering to the others---> "Yaar, bhool mat jana!"... And suddenly I feel a pang of emotion.. Hey, I have grown used to them all... Having an extraordinary large number of friends had always made me proud... Friends from school, high school and then college had all been in constant touch. Would that be possible now that I am away..
We had extensive photo-sessions. Something that would serve as aid to memory in case the latter fails us. I can picture myself several years from now looking at these longingly and wishing that we never grew up.

The dirty streets of Calcutta, the annoying traffic jam, the blaring loudspeakers and everything that filled me with disgust before now only reminds me "take in everything.. you'll yearn for all of this". I have spent 21 years of my life here and everyone and everything that I know belongs to Calcutta. And not before one of my friends pointed out that my association with this 'city of joy' may now get reduced to short recces did I realize "Hey, I will miss Calcutta!!!"
Why does moving ahead involve leaving ur closest and dearest friends behind???

Yes, I have so much to do before IIMB starts. I have to take memories with me. But how exactly do you store the memory of seeing your father's eyes sparkle with pride and satisfaction upon being congratulated for his son's achievements... How do you store the memory of seeing your mother cry when she realises that her son who is going away from her for the first time may take up a job somewhere away from Calcutta... How do you store the memory of feeling special and cared for when your best friend hugs you...

And there is the enticement of the life ahead... silver dreams, golden path...a new chapter of life is about to begin.
No, nothing ends here... it is just a transition. A transition that brings fresh challenges and a new sense of responsibility. And, however much may we want to stay back, move on we must.

Life, how many of your facets am I yet to see?